Achieving New Year’s Resolutions and Life Change: A Deeper Approach

I don’t remember who said it, but the quote goes something like this: “Why is it that I don’t do what I want to do, and I do what I don’t want to do?” When I first heard it, it resonated with me on a very deep level. For years, that quote would come back to me as I continued to wrestle with this struggle. It wasn’t until recently, over the last few years, that I began to understand there is a way out of that ongoing cycle.

As we approach New Year’s and everyone starts making resolutions, I’m reminded of the many times I set intentions to start or stop doing something, throwing sheer willpower into a kind of internal battle—counting days, weeks, months of how long I could “keep up the good fight”—only to eventually slide back into old habits. How many of us decide we’re going to work out every day, make it a few days, miss one, then miss a few more, and before we know it, we’ve stopped entirely? But why is that? How can we achieve real change in our lives, become the people we want to be, and live the lives we want to live? How can we master ourselves and our world?

I’ve learned there is a way, though it’s not an easy path. It’s not something you’ll read in a blog post and change overnight. But it is a path far more effective than fighting against yourself with sheer willpower, only to lose and revert to old habits.

So what is this path? Over the years, I’ve come to see that real change in our lives requires truly knowing ourselves on the deepest level. We need to understand what drives our actions, what thoughts and beliefs that exist at our innermost level of consciousness, and learn to have an honest conversation with our innermost self. For those unfamiliar with this idea, it may sound strange, but I’m not suggesting anything outside of an inward dialogue.

For me, this journey began after a deeply traumatic experience many years ago, which sent me inward and led me to meditate. Meditation started as a way to calm my mind, to avoid the dark rabbit holes my mind would fall into. It was a means of escape and calmness. Over time, however, I became increasingly aware of the thoughts and emotions I was experiencing, and this awareness kept deepening. Somewhere along the line, my interest expanded into what I had once dismissed—things like Buddhism, esoteric practices, and years later ultimately led me to the Rosicrucian orders, where I found teachings that helped me connect even more deeply with my inner self.

I’m not suggesting here that the Rosicrucian Orders are the salvation to everything, don’t stop reading here. It is merely the place I learned the most important lesson; read on…

This path hasn’t been a quick transformation but a gradual process of becoming more aware. And with these profound changes in my life, I’ve come to see that sheer willpower alone isn’t enough to fundamentally change our behavior. We might be able to modify our actions temporarily, but until we transmute ourselves at the innermost levels, real change won’t take place.

As we approach the New Year, I suggest a different approach to change—not waging a war on ourselves with willpower, but coming at it with calmness and a desire to learn where our behaviors come from. Recognize what drives these habits, understand your innermost self, and begin to transform from within. In my experience, once this inner work is done, outward changes follow naturally. One day, you might realize that change has taken place, almost without effort, because you did the real work within. This has been my experience much to my own amazment.

I hope someone finds this helpful if they’re struggling. This may sound “out there” to some, but developing a relationship with your inner self is truly worth the effort. It’s not about perfecting everything in yourself or becoming some kind of master. I’m far from that and still have much to work on. Real change is a slow process, one step at a time.

Ultimately, the real learning and growth comes from within yourself, but orders like the Rosicrucians can support you on that path. If you’re interested, I’d suggest checking out AMORC, a more modern take on these teachings, or if you prefer a deeper, more esoteric approach, BOTA. If anyone has questions, feel free to reach out—I’d be glad to help if I can.